Nov 29, 2012

Wow fuck I haven't posted here in a while

Catchy title, I know.

First order of business, thank you Molly for giving me a little bump because I've been meaning to post here for weeks now but I keep pushing it back (which I have been doing with a lot of things lately, thank you terrible procrastination habit).

I seriously cannot believe my last post was in fucking September. Get ready guys, you're in for a whopper.

I honestly have no recollection of the end of September so there really isn't much to say about the fifteen or so days there. School school and what do you know, more school. Yipee.

Although one thing I am reminded of re-reading my previous post is that I had a sleepover with Friend A and Friend B from the whole not-believing-I'm-a-lesbian situation. That went relatively well, and we pretty much got shit cleared up then. Probably the most awkward thing that evening was that I saw the actress for Alice Piesecki from The L Word in an ad on TV (we were watching Ellen eue ) and I without thinking blurted, "Oh, I know her! She was Alice on The L Word!" I then had to explain The L Word to them. Fun.

October was a big month for a couple of reasons. The first of those reasons is a religion project. We watched a video in class, a commercial for Molson Canadian beer titled the "I am Canadian" Rant. We then had to make a rant similar to that about our own personal stereotypes. Of course, I chose lesbian stereotypes, because seriously I am the opposite of your stereotypical butch lesbian really it's not even funny. Anyway, I had Rose and Misa (her girlfriend) and their other friend who is pansexual help me with the video (who better to ask for help with this than a bunch of queers?). You would not believe how incredibly enthusiastic they were about making this. They were always encouraging me to come out of the closet. Rose and Misa have been out for quite some time.

Despite this probably being a bad idea, here, have a ball. This is my video. Also that's me without a wig.

Yeah. The people cheering at the end are Rose and Misa who were tossing me things from behind the camera. Their friend was the one holding the camera.

This was filmed at Rose's school. After this, I began visiting their school every Wednesday after school, since their school finishes forty minutes after mine (they end at 3:00, mine ends at 2:20) and they have band at 4:00, so they're got time to hang. It's been the highlight of my weeks ever since.

The second Wednesday I came, Rose gave me the wonderful surprise of taking me to a fucking GSA meeting (Gay Straight Alliance). So now I'm involved in their school's GSA. All I've really been able to contribute is making posters, but hey, it's something.

Anyway, back to the video, before it was shown in class on Friday, Thursday was National Coming Out Day. So that's when I came out to my parents. My mom I told in person, and my dad... well, let me explain.

That evening I posted a status on Facebook that read "Happy National Coming Out Day I'm a lesbian have a nice evening." You can see where this is going. My dad doesn't go on Facebook that often, but my grandma does, and she saw it and called him. My cousin was there when she saw it, and apparently she flipped shit about how "she's too young to know that" and "she can't be gay" etc. etc. But this is also the same grandma who "doesn't believe in bisexuality," so she can shove it up her ass. Everyone else in my family was pretty accepting. I'd made the terrible decision of posting this right before a family gathering (my cousin's daughter's baptism), but when I went to say goodbye to my aunt and give her a hug, she said in me ear, "We love you, you know." So yeah, really really nice and shit except for my grandma. Another cousin, one year older if you remember her from previous sleepover posts, said "Is it bad that I kind of knew?" So really the whole thing went over so much better than I excepted and I'm really happy about that.

Anyway, back to my dad, that fucking bastard. When he found out, him and mom sat me down and we had a "talk." He kept saying shit like "we'll have to talk about how you express your feelings" and shit like that. I think what stung the most was that he said "You did this right before two huge family gatherings (we had a weeding the weekend after the baptism, my dad's cousin)! [Baptised baby] is supposed to be the centre of attention this weekend, not you! What if some extended family sees this too? We have a wedding next weekend!" [Me saying that the status was set to friends only and how could someone else see it] "Well, that's what happened!"

I don't think I've ever felt so shitty. I ended up going up to my room and balling. That ruined my whole evening. I was supposed to go out and see a movie with some friends, but I just felt so terrible I had to cancel my plans. I didn't want to leave my room, let alone my house. I fucking hate him, I really do. The worst part is I didn't realize how wrong what he was saying was until I told Tom about it (more on that later). He got so fucking pissed. I swear he ranted for like ten minutes.

Speaking of Tom, we've gotten a lot closer these past months. We now walk home together every day and often go to a chicken place across the street for lunch (Tom pretty much always has lunch money instead of an actual lunch, so he buys and most of the time I eat my lunch from home). Because we've been spending so much time together, a lot of people think we're in a relationship. Tom used to just say that I'm a lesbian whenever someone called "wheels" (and honestly people's faces will never get old seriously the shock is hilarious) but now we've devised that if either of us are asked, we are to say that I am his gay best friend.

What else is new? I've been looking at a lot of new music artists lately, and fuck I have found some gems. I have loved My Chemical Romance for a while now (and Panic! At The Disco, but I don't think I've mentioned them before), but I have discovered Falling in Reverse and oh my god their music is just like [insert eargasm here]. Other amazing bands/artists I have had the grace of discovering are Rise Against, Black Veil Brides, Owl City, Lights, Escape the Fate, Of Mice and Men, Paramore, Blink-182 and Mindless Self Indulgence. That last one is one that Rose has been pushing me to check out for a while and holy tits fuck I can't even begin to describe how much their music makes NO SENSE AT ALL WHATSOEVER. It's great :D

Wow fuck my fingers are tired I'm going to wrap this up. Basically, that sums shit up. Yeah this is pretty much another post about me being a lesbian but really the most exciting shit in my life revolves around that because everything else is boring. I might post another rant soon about my history teacher, because seriously she is the worst teacher I have ever encountered in my entire academic career, which really says something because my sixth grade teacher was pretty bad (can't remember if I told you guys about him before, but again that's a post for another day).

Now before I go, something about Sims, because seriously this blog went from 80% Sims 20% personal to 80% personal 20% Sims. I still haven't fixed my game. That's really all there is to say at this point. I've been back into Sims 2 lately, which I really really love. The gameplay is so much better than Sims 3, but I still miss that sketchy piece of shit no matter how glitchy it is.

Now I really have to go. Farewell all, hopefully you'll be hearing from me again soon. And hopefully that post won't be quite so long.

Cheerio darlings,



  1. Whoo! You've had quite a couple months. Hopefully your dad comes around like your friends have, and I think he will. It just might take him awhile, and until then, roll with it the best you can. At least they know, it's something you got off your chest, so it's up to him to accept and adjust.

    1. It hasn't really come up since then o.o He said "oh we're going to have to talk" but we never did, I guess because that experience was just as uncomfortable for him as it was for me ^.^' I suppose it's just sort of slipped away now? I'm just glad he didn't carry through with his plans >.<